They’ll be a new divide between the “haves” and “have nots” today in Washington as Congress begins distributing tickets to The Most Important Event of All Time Ever in the History of Time Ever. Expect to see smug grins, spontaneous dancing, and general air of superiority amongst some —while others trudge around with a McCain-like dreariness.
The 240,000 tickets were printed at the Government Printing Office near Union Station and have multiple high-tech security features to prevent counterfeiting (they hope really hard you don’t?). Ticket holders are asked to arrive hours before the actual ceremony begins at 11:30 and can only enter via their color-coded gates. So ha! We’ll be partying on the mall while you’re being intimately frisked by Bruce the Secret Service Agent and forced to stand in line for hours!
