Obama: Hey George, Can I get that $350 Billion You Owe Me

And so it was written: Obama went to Pharoh’s land, let my money go.  Barack Obama has requested that the White House ask Congress to release the second half of the $700 billion financial rescue package.  The TARP, as it is known by those in pinstriped suits, was supposed to be the Bailout to End all Bailouts (woops).  Earlier today, President Bush said that Obama hadn’t yet asked him for the money; but a few hours later, when some Obama-Bruisers cruised up the white house with baseball bats and tire irons, the outgoing Bush team relented, lest they loose their knee caps.

When Obama Blows the Golden Conch, Presidents Assemble

Today was the first meeting of the President’s Club and boy did they have fun (no girls allowed).  The meeting was full of awesome activities.  After climbing into the Presidential Tree House, they ate some cheese pizza and totally chugged like 8 liters of Coke before playing Halo ’till like 3 in the morning.  It was sweet! Except Jimmy had allergies and got totally pwned all night and cried like a baby.  Pussy….

I have no idea what happened.

Top 10 Weirdest Moments of 2008

Every political website from here to the Timbuktu Times Tribune has published a Top 10 of whatever list for 2008. Top 10 House races, Top 10 Media Blunders, Top 10 Sarah Palin nip slips).  Most of them are boring space fillers written by journos who wanted to take New Years off, but Politico has one truly worthy of The Barely Newsworthy– the weirdest moments of 2008.

Most of them you probably know– Bush gets shoed, Hillary Clinton gets sloshed, Obama gets “that one”d– but some you may not.  For example, San Francisco residents, between ungodly butt interactions and the smoking of grass dope, attempted to name a sewage treatment plant after President Bush.  The ballot measure ultimatly failed when the sewage authority warned it would be too expensive.  Also, most people overlooked it, but Rod Blagojevich considered making a run for the presidency in 2016.  The Illinois governor toyed with idea of appointing himself to fill Obama’s seat to “remake his image in consideration of a possible run for president in 2016,” the documents released by the indictments noted.