Obama’s Old Car Could Drive Pizza Man From Mom’s Basement

Obama's old whip. He turned it in for a less douchey and more image friendly Ford Escape Hybrid in 2007.

The President-Elect has a new ride, but his old one could make a Chicago “pizza guy” a very rich looser.  In February of last year, the Italian food item delivery technician bought the 2005 Chrysler 300 that Obama ha owned for about three years.  Now the pizza person is selling it on eBay with an opening bid of $100,000. “EBay Experts” say the car could fetch as much as $1,000,000, that’ll buy a lot of not delivering pizza. But instead of following in footsteps of the kid from “Blank Check,” Timothy O’Boyle, the car’s current owner, says he’s going to donate some of the money to charity.  Lame.

Inauguration Tix Released, Smug Washingtonians Get Smugger

 

They’ll be a new divide between the “haves” and “have nots” today in Washington as Congress begins distributing tickets to The Most Important Event of All Time Ever in the History of Time Ever.  Expect to see smug grins, spontaneous dancing, and general air of superiority amongst some —while others trudge around with a McCain-like  dreariness. 

The 240,000 tickets were printed at the Government Printing Office near Union Station and have multiple high-tech security features to prevent counterfeiting (they hope really hard you don’t?).  Ticket holders are asked to arrive hours before the actual ceremony begins at 11:30 and can only enter via their color-coded gates.  So ha! We’ll be partying on the mall while you’re being intimately frisked by Bruce the Secret Service Agent and forced to stand in line for hours!

Burn Your Car for Insurance Money Before the Inauguration

Details of road closures during the inauguration came out today and it looks as if the Secret Service et. al. are trying to turn DC into a Mideval walled city —no cars, no freedom of movement, no escape from The Plague.  Almost all of Downtown will be off limit to cars, even if you live there, and most bridges will be closed, even to pedestrians and hippies riding bikes.  Have you ever seen the Siege?