Obama: Hey George, Can I get that $350 Billion You Owe Me

And so it was written: Obama went to Pharoh’s land, let my money go.  Barack Obama has requested that the White House ask Congress to release the second half of the $700 billion financial rescue package.  The TARP, as it is known by those in pinstriped suits, was supposed to be the Bailout to End all Bailouts (woops).  Earlier today, President Bush said that Obama hadn’t yet asked him for the money; but a few hours later, when some Obama-Bruisers cruised up the white house with baseball bats and tire irons, the outgoing Bush team relented, lest they loose their knee caps.

When Obama Blows the Golden Conch, Presidents Assemble

Today was the first meeting of the President’s Club and boy did they have fun (no girls allowed).  The meeting was full of awesome activities.  After climbing into the Presidential Tree House, they ate some cheese pizza and totally chugged like 8 liters of Coke before playing Halo ’till like 3 in the morning.  It was sweet! Except Jimmy had allergies and got totally pwned all night and cried like a baby.  Pussy….

I have no idea what happened.